Lilypie Maternity tickers

New Adventure. New Blog.

Hello! I’m so happy I decided to start this tumblr when I found out I was pregnant! It was so comforting to know there were other ladies who were going through similar things as I. I may have ranted, said unimportant things, and re-posted way too much nonsense but this place was a place of comfort for a while especially when Kyle was away for deployments. I am not done blogging though! I’ve met some beautiful girls from all over thr world on this tumblr and I’m not ready to say goodbye! I have a new blog! If any of you are interested or if you have a blogspot as well, please send me a comment/message through blogger! Thanks for all the lovely tumblr memories! See ya!

Here is the link to my new blog: www.acalimama.blogspot.com

Going to another country doesn’t make any difference. You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.

Ernest Hemingway The Sun Also Rises (via teenage-femalien)

3 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

"I used to think I had my stuff together. Then I got married.

Marriage is great—but it rocked everything I knew. I quickly realized my basic goal in life, prior to getting married, was to simply remain undisturbed.

This “disruption” came suddenly and was disguised as a 5-foot-nothing Swedish-Filipino woman. When I decided I’d rather not live without her, I proceeded to ask her to marry me—that is, to officially invite someone who wasn’t me to be in my personal space for the rest of my life.

This decision introduced my most significant experiences and most challenging experiences—none of which I would trade for the world.

However, I wish I’d had a bit more insight on the front end of our marriage to help me navigate it all.

According to most research, more than 50 percent of people who say “I do” will not be sleeping in the same bed eight years from now. And though Scripture alludes to the fact that adultery and abuse may be reasons individuals might end a marriage, I’d be willing to bet that most challenges experienced in marriage are the result of unawareness. Most people—myself included—jump into marriage with suitcases full of misconceptions and bad theology, entirely unaware of the unique beauty and paradoxical intentions of marriage.


Although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight.
The following are three thoughts on marriage that friends and mentors have shared with me. I remind myself of them often in hopes of keeping this anomaly called marriage both enjoyable and healthy.

1. Marriage is not about living happily ever after.

Here’s the truth: I get annoyed at my wife. But this is more a reflection of me than her.

I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she’s looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human.

I once read a book that alluded to the idea that marriage is the fire of life—that somehow it’s designed to refine all our dysfunction and spur us into progressive wholeness. In this light, contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow.

When we’re willing to see it this way, then the points of friction in our marriages quickly become gifts that consistently invite us into a more whole and fulfilling experience of life.

2. The more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.

Over the past year, a few friends and I have had an open conversation about the highs and lows of marriage—specifically how to make the most of the high times and avoid the low ones. Along the way, we happened upon a derailing hypothesis that goes something like this: If one makes their husband or wife priority number one, all other areas of life benefit.


When we return marriage to its rightful place in our priorities, it can quickly turn into the greatest asset to every other layer of our lives.

It’s a disorienting claim. Disorienting, because it protests my deeper persuasion that success as an entrepreneur, or any professional, requires that career takes the throne of my priorities and remain there for, at the very least, a couple of years.


However, seeing that my recent pattern of caring about work over marriage had produced little more than paying bills and a miserable wife, I figured giving the philosophy a test drive couldn’t hurt.

For 31 days, I intentionally put my wife first over everything else, and then I tracked how it worked. I created a metric for these purposes, to mark our relationship as priority, and then my effectiveness in all other areas of my life on the same scale, including career productivity and general quality of life.

To my surprise, a month later, I had a chart of data and a handful of ironic experiences to prove that the more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.

Notably, on the days my wife genuinely felt valued, I observed her advocating for me to invest deeply in to my work. She no longer saw our relationship and my career pursuits as competitors for my attention, and as she partnered with me in my career, I have experienced the benefits of having the closest person in my life champion me.

Of course, marriage requires sacrifice. And sometimes it will feel as if it takes and takes. However, when we return marriage to its rightful place in our priorities, it can quickly turn from something we have to maintain and sacrifice for into the greatest asset to every other layer of our lives.

3. Marriage can change the world.

John Medina, the author of Brain Rules and a Christian biologist, is often approached by men looking for the silver bullet of fathering. In one way or another, they all come around to asking, “What’s the most important thing I can do as a father?”

Medina’s answer alludes to a surprising truth.

In my previously mentioned experiment, I measured the effect that making my marriage priority number one had on different areas of my life. One of those areas was my 16-month-old son’s behavior.

What I found in simply charting my observations was that the majority of the time, my child’s behavior was directly affected by the level of intention I invested in my marriage.

Re-enter John Medina, the Christian biologist. After years of biological research and several books on parenting conclusions, what is his answer to the question, “What’s the most important thing I can do as a father”?

“Go home and love your wife.”

Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, the authors of Babywise, say it this way: “A healthy marriage creates an infused stability within the family and a haven of security for a child in their development process.” They go on to sum up their years of research by saying, “In the end, great marriages produce great parents.”

The point is that marriage has a higher goal than to make two people happy or even whole. Yes, the investment we make into our marriage pays dividends for us. But, concluded by Medina and his colleagues, the same investment also has significant implications for our family, our community and eventually our culture.

So men, women, the next time you find yourself dreaming about living significantly or succeeding in your career or being a better parent than yours were to you, do the world a favor: Go home and love your wife. Go home and and love your husband.”

Lifetime Resolutions

It’s a brand new year, and I’ve never really been big on making “New Year Resolution’s” only because I never (and I mean, NEVER) follow through with them. For instance, one year I told my self I would read the entire Bible and by the end of that year I had only read the New Testament and the first eight books of the Old (which fyi, I had no idea what was going on!). So I stopped “resoluting” for a while. 

Anyway, 2013 was by far the toughest years I’ve had. It was the first year Kyle and I were together, spending.every.single.minute.together with a baby. I prayed and prayed, and still pray for patience. The ugly that I knew that resided within, finally came out and I am ashamed for the things I said and for the things I done. I feel so guilty for feeling overwhelmed 95% of the time. Then I take it out on people I love most. Why can’t I just be kind and forgiving? Then I realized, I was blaming other people for the way I felt. Time and time again, be it a movie, facebook, an article, a story-“You are responsible for your own happiness”. Stop blaming other people. I started to begin living that philosophy and I did find myself being more at peace and contempt in the season I was in. It’s not perfect, but it’s a teeny bit better than two months ago. I also am still struggling with feeling guilty whenever I’m away from my son, you know like when the hubs and I go out on a date. Or when I want to draw or read a book. But I also found out that I am a lot happier when I do make time for myself, and that in turn makes me a much nicer wife and mother.

So, instead of making “New Year” resolutions, I have decided to make “Lifetime” resolutions, but not exactly all the way, like a “bucket list”-and hey, if it doesn’t work out the way it’s supposed to I’m not going to beat myself up for not following through. At least I tried right? 

My List:

-Wear less make-up, and invest in a good skincare line. If you know me, make-up and hair was basically my life for a while. But I’m finding it more and more of an inconvenience nowadays. I don’t want to let myself go though, hubs loves me with make-up on but he also likes it when I have less of it on too. I can let go of wearing eye shadow and contouring my face. If I have time, why not though?  (Less make-up=more time to do other things!)

-Draw, Draw, Draw!!! Drawing has definitely become one of my passions. I wish I had more time to do it. So I am going to make time for it! I’ll be taking intermediate drawing classes this Spring. *Remember: Happy moms=nicer moms. Also, not to feel guilty!

-Make my husband my #1 priority. Yes I said it, my husband over my child. I read an amazing article a few months ago on my friends facebook (I’ll post the article on a different post.) I say, just read the article to know where I’m coming from. 

-Do not buy clothes in 2014. This one is going to be tough, but I just recently looked in “our” closet and it is just overflowing with clothes that I have worn once or never have. Hubs has a little corner of five polo shirts, while my clothes are literally drowning on top of one another. Quality over quantity!

-Live under means but in a desirable location. I love my city. It is truly a blessing to be living in California. But there has been so many times I’ve considered living in Michigan, housing is so ridiculously affordable and you get the whimsical woodsy scene. But I hate the cold! We could be saving over $500 monthly living in a 1 bedroom and in a nicer area! 

-Join a woman’s study and stick with it! I am so truly beyond blessed to be a part of an amazing church. I admire my pastor and all the families that attend. I have met so many amazing Godly women at my church, and I need to be more apart of it. I had so many opportunities to have mentors but I missed them all! My church family must also be a part of my top priorities. 

-Not to sweat the “small stuff”. I am a perfectionist to the core. It is my achilles heel. It’s also been the culprit for a lot of my arguments with the hubs. I like dishes put a “certain way”, pillows fluffed, I get into the nitty gritty details, and honestly I’ve realized how stupid it is to freak out about such things that aren’t important. They are not important.

-Finish reading “Anna Karenina”. Lol.

I know the list is short, but these are the ones that I’ve been thinking about. If there’s any more, I might share. I hope you all find things that you might want to achieve in the upcoming year and achieving them! But for now, happy new year and I hope your year stays happy throughout!

If you can’t tell by my recent reblogs…I’m being an emo butt right now.